The Power of 3G

I love 3G.  No, I'm not talking about some fancy schmancy mobile network, I'm referring to the three generations of women with whom I currently reside.  My mother arrived for an extended visit about a month ago.  While here, she has taken over the lion's share of caring for Little Sister.  I must say, it's quite nice to wake up in the morning and get up and go knowing that my mom has everything under control with regard to caring for Little Sister.  It has also been quite nice on the pocketbook to have some relief from daycare expenses.  But, most importantly, I'm loving watching the bond that has formed between Little Sister and her grandmother.  They are two peas in a pod.  My mom has been here through some significant transitions in Little Sister's development - she helped transition her to solid food, she has been here through her teething and most recently, Little Sister has started to sit up on her own.  She's growing up so quickly and I'm glad my mom is here to share in these moments.  But, I must admit that I am a bit jealous about the royal treatment that Little Sister is receiving.  Undivided attention, spa baths and rubdowns are just the beginning.  I knew my mother had taken things a bit far when I came home and she had ironed Little Sister's onesies.  Now, who in their right mind irons onesies?!  I can honestly say I don't remember my onesies getting ironed...nevermind the fact that I would have been too young to remember such a detail.  But, I checked in with my sisters and they don't recall having their onesies ironed nor do they recall my mother ironing mine.  And since I was the little sister, trust me, my big sisters remembered every act that could possibly be considered favoritism.  An ironed onesie definitely qualifies.  But, it's all good.  My mother is happy and Little Sister is happy and that's all that matters.

Being Elmo

One of the things that I absolutely love about being a mom is the manner in which it has strengthened my relationship with my sisters.  I have two big sisters who were always protective and nurturing of me, but they have rallied around me like none other since the moment I told them that I was pregnant.  Quiet as it's kept, Little Sister has THREE mamas.  :-)  They have been so willing to share advice, crazy stories about labor and delivery, and the joys (and challenges) of raising seven phenomenal kids between the two of them.  Recently, one of my sisters recommended that I check out the documentary Being Elmo.  It's the story of Kevin Clash, the puppeteer behind the beloved Sesame Street muppet, Elmo.  As her 20 year old stated, "I think every parent should have to watch this documentary in the hospital after they give birth.."  It is absolutely phenomenal.  After I finished watching it...and stopped sobbing...my sister and I had a long discussion about the core parenting principles that this film exemplified.  As an attorney representing the interests of abused and neglected children, my sister has seen so many instances of when parenting goes horribly wrong, so this movie was a much needed break from her day-to-day reality of assisting troubled families.  As she reflected on the movie, she wrote down her thoughts on parenting as it relates to this movie.  Below are her reflections.  THANKS SIS!

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I typically share my love of a movie or news article with my boys so that we can all eventually share in the experience. After watching the documentary “Being Elmo” I did the same.  My 20 year old was the first to take me up on the offer to watch. He is in his third year of college and just finishing an engineering internship at General Dynamics. His first reaction was, “I think every parent should have to watch this documentary in the hospital after they give birth.” He continued, “That was the most inspirational movie I have ever seen.” I too enjoyed the movie, especially the part where “the real Elmo,” Kevin Clash, explained his father and mother’s reaction after he used his father’s coat to create his first puppet.

I penned a few nuggets of parenting wisdom that I took away from the film just in case a maternity ward somewhere wants to start showing the 1 hour 16 minute film:

• Recognize your child’s gift:  Kevin tells us that his father’s reaction to his cut up coat was, ”Just ask the next time.” What was it that made Kevin’s parents’ reaction so mild? Why wasn’t their natural reaction rage or anger?  Kevin’s parents not only understood their child’s gift of creativity, they also knew their power as parents – the power to strike down that creativity or to nurture it forward.

• Keep the dream alive:  Get your child as close to their dream as possible.  As Kevin tells the story, when he came home and told his mother he wanted to meet Kermit Love, she did not kill his aspiration by telling him she did not have the funds to take him on a trip to meet the famed puppeteer. What she did instead was track down Kermit Love to find out how she could further her child’s dream to meet him.  She kept his dream alive, which eventually became real when Kevin went on a school trip to New York.

• Provide a legacy: When Kevin was “thrown” a chance to bring the lifeless body of Elmo to life, Kevin recognized it as an opportunity. He traveled home to find the spirit of Elmo and there he rediscovered his mother’s legacy of caring for children in her home daycare. Kevin realized that it was his mother’s legacy of love for children that he would use to create the Elmo that we now know and love.

• Spend time with your child while there is time to spend: The scene in the movie where Kevin Clash celebrates his daughter’s 16^th birthday brings tears. Mr. Clash’s realization that he sacrificed time with his daughter while working as Elmo says it all. 

• Pay it forward: Parents must be examples to their children and show them, not teach them, that everyone has something to contribute to society, no matter what our station in life and no matter how much money we have or don’t have.  Kevin’s mentoring of aspiring puppeteers furthers Elmo’s legacy of love. 

Food, Glorious Food!

I have found that since Little Sister's arrival, finding time to cook and eat has become one of life's little luxuries.  But, as I've posted before, I have to take care of myself so that I can take care of her.  During the week, I find that I usually grab a bocadillo or paella from one of my favorite spots or eat a bowl of cereal and call it a night.  During the weekend, I do indulge my culinary skills to whip up something creative for me and Daddy-O.  Since I'm always on the lookout to find dishes that are easy to prepare, yet pack a nutritional punch, I have recently discovered quinoa (pronounced keen-wah).  I think this is the tastiest export ever from Bolivia.  If you haven't checked out this superfood, you must do so soon.  It's high in protein and fiber, and has a warm, nutty flavor.  Contrary to popular belief, it is not a grain, but closely related to the spinach and beet family...go figure.  It's the perfect side dish, but since it pairs so well with meats and veggies, it can also be the main course.  It can be prepared savory or sweet; served hot or cold; it's extremely versatile.

This past weekend, I whipped up two great meals for some specials friends.  With Daddy-O as my sous chef to prep the onions, tomatoes and garlic, cooking time was minimal.  Check out the recipes below.

Blackened Tilapia with Wilted Spinach & Grape Tomatoes

Quinoa with Satuéed Onions & Garlic

1 cup quinoa
2 cups water or chicken broth
2 tbsp olive oil
1 large vidalia onion
3 cloves garlic
salt & pepper to taste

1. Bring quinoa and water/broth to a boil in a medium saucepan.  Reduce heat to medium-low, cover, and simmer until the quinoa is tender and the water has been absorbed, about 15 to 20 minutes.
2.  While quinoa is cooking, chop onion into thin slivers.  Mince garlic.  Sautée both in olive oil until the onions are translucent and the garlic is starting to brown. 
3. Once quinoa has absorbed all of the water, stir in sautéed onion & garlic mixture.

Pan Seared Halibut 

2 - 8oz fillets of halibut
1 lemon
olive oil
Carolina Seafood Blend from The Fresh Market

1. Place halibut (skin side up) in a shallow bowl.  Squeeze lemon on top.  Add olive oil.  Add Carolina Seafood Blend seasoning.  Let marinate for 15 minutes.
2. Heat olive oil in pan.  Sear halibut flesh side down for 3-4 minutes.  Flip over and sear skin side down for 3-4 minutes.  
3. Add marinade to the pan.  Reduce heat, cover and simmer for 10 minutes.  Fish is ready to serve when it's easy to flake with a fork.

Blackened Tilapia with Wilted Spinach & Grape Tomatoes

4 fillets of tilapia
Blackened Seasoning
1 bag baby spinach
1 thinly sliced shallot
one small crate grape tomatoes - cut in half

1. Place tilapia in shallow bowl.  Squeeze one lemon on top.  Season with blackened seasoning.  Let marinate for 5 - 10 minutes.  Do not let it marinate for too long, or else you'll end up with ceviche because tilapia is so thin.
2. In a nice sized pan, pan sear the tilapia in olive oil.  If necessary, pan sear the pieces in separate batches, but in the end, all pieces should be layered in the pan.
3. In a separate pan, sautée shallots in olive oil.  Add bag of baby spinach and sautée until slightly wilted.
4. Add spinach to pan of blackened tilapia.  Add grape tomatoes to tilapia & spinach.
5. Cover and let simmer for 10 minutes.

Bon Appétit

My name is Tshombe...

...and I am a perpetrator.  There, I said it!  What am I perpetrating, you ask?  I'm perpetrating that I'm still pregnant!  Well, minus the throwing up in random parking lots, of course.  I'm perpetrating because on occasion (every weekend), I still sport some of my maternity clothes!  They are so darn comfy.  Truth be told I am probably fooling no one because I do not look the least bit pregnant.  Thanks to gestational diabetes, my 6 week postpartum weight was 20 pounds less than my first prenatal visit.  But, who cares!?!  I cannot stop myself from wearing my "grey prison dress," which was my go to get up after I got off of work and on the weekends.  It's the perfect weight, it's not too clingy, it was even perfect for my daily walks when I couldn't squeeze my big belly into exercise gear.  Yes, I do wish it was a bit more fashionable and didn't make me look like my name is "Inmate #782534R," but, it's a small price to pay for comfort.  I have yet to find a "regular" dress as comfy as this.  I think there's an untapped market for "transition" clothes for new moms to wear after they've given birth, but are too freakin' busy with a baby to care about sporting the latest fashion.  So, what say you ladies?  Am I crazy or have you done this as well?

Me (in The Grey Dress) & Big D

What's wrong with this picture???

This is a picture of Little Sister's crib.  The only thing that's missing is Little Sister!  She has not slept through the night in this crib since...EVER!  But, since it's adjacent to the bed, it is a handy toybox/bookcase/cellphone & MacBook charging station.  I'm at a crossroads because she has outgrown her mini-crib and it is now time to invest in a real crib, but I am torn.  Against the well-meaning advice of numerous family members and friends, Little Sister and I share a bed.  Actually, I now occupy one teeny-tiny sliver of the edge of what was formerly known as "my bed."  She finds a way to take up the entire bed, and has done so since day #1.  I have read all the ominous warnings about the dangers of co-sleeping.  But, co-sleeping is also thought to have benefits as well.  One of the biggest benefits for me is that during the week, the daily rat-race makes it feel as if I get too little time with my pumpkin.  Bedtime is when we wind things down, read a book, giggle, babble, laugh, snuggle and then fall asleep.  I wouldn't trade these few minutes for anything in the world, nor would I think of waking her up out of her peaceful slumber to place her somewhere else.  When I was pregnant I hadn't even considered co-sleeping, but as my nesting instinct was revving up into overdrive and my desire to set-up a nursery dominated every conversation, Daddy-O encouraged me to challenge conventional wisdom regarding putting her in a separate room once she turned 3 months old.  I don't think he was challenging conventional wisdom about having her sleep in her own bed, but oh well.  Some nights it does feel like a scene out of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (remember, both sets of grandparents slept in the same bed?).  But, now that we're all used to it, I wouldn't have it any other way.  The thought of having her sleep in another room outside of my sight causes me much trepidation.  Instead of being concerned that co-sleeping will result in her becoming a dependent and clingy girl, I'm claiming that our close quarters will result in her being able to boldly and confidently go forward in the world because at the end of the day, she knows that she'll come to a home that is nurturing and loving...and by then she'll come home to her own room.  :-)  So, I guess in answer to my own question, "what's wrong with this picture???," the answer is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

Where there's a will...

The old adage goes, "Where there's a will, there's a way."  Lately, I've been thinking a lot about this saying for several reasons.  Since we're winding down the season of Lent, I'm reflecting on God's will for my life.  The Lord's Prayer states, "...Thy will be done," which is a line that I've pondered numerous times as I've dealt with life's numerous twists, turns, ups and downs.  I'm ever so grateful that His will was to bless me with this amazing little girl.

But, I also interpret the word "will" in a more literal sense, such as making one's wishes known for what to do upon your passing.  I've recently been privy to one family's "drama" that has arisen when an elder passed, yet did not make provisions for how their affairs were to be handled.  Unfortunately, grief, strife and family schisms have resulted from efforts to settle matters.  The thought, "where there's a will, there's a way," keeps playing over and over in my head because if there was a will, there would have been a way to resolve these matters while preserving family bonds.

Along these same lines, it is important to let your family and loved ones know what end of life decisions you would like made in the event that you become incapacitated.  Advance directives (also referred to as living wills) express how you want to be treated if you are seriously ill and unable to speak for yourself.  Making your wishes known prevents a possible show down between loved ones who feel that it's in their best interest to advocate for you, but may not be in agreement regarding what to do.

Please remember, you don't have to be as wealthy as Donald Trump or Oprah Winfrey to execute a will.  And completing a living will is free!  Your doctor should be able to provide you with the necessary forms.  Or, for a small free you can find generic forms at Five Wishes. 

But, I guess the most important thing to remember is the importance of communication.  Talking about end-of-life issues and money are two of the most difficult topics to discuss.  But, honest conversations beforehand can prevent unnecessary problems at a time of mourning.  As my mother has made abundantly clear to her kids, "Do not stand over my bed discussing when to pull the plug!"  She sometimes says it in a comical manner, but she has made sure that we're clear about her wishes.  And that's the most important thing.

P.S. As I was looking for resources for the blog post, I learned that April 16 is National Healthcare Decisions Day.  The website is a fantastic resource!

Isn't it all "me time"?

"Me time" was a foreign concept to me before Little Sister's arrival.  Prior to that, I was a footloose and fancy free, single girl in the city who relished her independence.  I didn't have to answer to anyone, except Skip!, and he was straight after a bellyrub and a treat.  Well, those days are o-ver.  While I love spending time with Little Sister, I'm finding that a few hours of alone time each week helps me stay balanced while juggling work and family responsibilities.  Tonight, Little Sister and Daddy-O got to get in some good bonding time while I visited Bernard, my favorite stylist.  The awesome scalp massage was just what the doctor ordered to help release the tension of the day.  While I am hardly a high maintenance "diva" type, I think I'll be treating myself and sharing my "me time" with Bernard for a scalp massage and style regularly.  Never underestimate the power of taking care of yourself.  As they instruct you on the airline pre-flight instructions, put on your oxygen mask first so that you're then prepared to take care of others.

"Me Time" Headquarters